Here are ten (really six, but ten is the popular n…

Here are ten (really six, but ten is the popular number) surefire ways to make a quick (millions of) bucks:

Convince a publisher to publish you erroneous, lie-riddle, plagiarised, crap-piece of a “book”, ala this. For full details on how to successfully undertake this process, contact this person;

Get a camcorder and record your stupid friends doing even more stupid things, ala this and this. Follow this up by having a studio publicise your home video as a movie and sell it through the cinemas, where a customer’s ticket price is overly inflated for the quality of “movie” they are seeing. For full details on how to successfull undertake this process, contact this person;

Have a friend run in the U.S. Presidential Elections and win. While a well paid job in itself, stealing for your own gain from the country is a rather risky business in this position. That is why you should have a friend become President so that they can give your four-man bus shelter building company construction contracts in countries recently “liberated” (or, as normal people like to say, invaded). For full details on how to successfully undertake this process, contact this person;

Create/develop/invent/steal a product that intentionally has faults built in, and then, after already bilking the customer for an exorbident amount in the first place, charge them for further upgrades to said product, ala this (or, if not intentional, Mr. Gates you are employing the wrong people for the task, i.e. work for the dole persons). For full details on how to successfully undertake this process, contact this person;

– Become dictator of your country, ala this. CAUTION: excessive use of this method may result in injury or death. To ensure maximum gains from this method, make sure that you are the stooge of larger world powers, are friendly towards them, cause wars(1)(2) that jack up oil prices and not develop WMDs to hide from United Nations inspectors. On second thought, perhaps this won’t be enough. Regardless, for full details on how to successfully undertake this process, contact this person (hurry!);

– Google “surefire ways to get rich“. For full details on how to successfully undertake this process, contact this person.

Thomas.

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