Apparently I show off (I know, I was surprised too!). I was accused during a diner in the past week. The strange thing was, I wasn’t even showing off when I was accused of being such a person. I generally brag about things that set me above-and-beyond other people because, hell, I’ve done it/got it/been there/done that etc., but this time I was accused of showing off by making simple conversation.
Therefore, this entire post, to live up to the accuser’s idea that I am a show-off, is going to be dedicated to just that: acting the show-off.
– My passport is nearly running out of pages to stamp, and come March, it will be full. Yes, I’m a frequent traveler. I have traveled to more foreign countries than I have pithy states in my home country. Let’s look shall we:
– New South Wales
– South Australia
– Rest of the World
– The United States of America
– Turkey (Feb ’07)
– Poland (Feb ’07)
– China (Feb ’07)
– Now, to brag even more, here are landmarks and places of interest I’ve been to:
– Disney World
– Miami Beach
– Had breakfast with orangutans at Singapore Zoo
– Eiffel Tower
– The Louvre (before it was conspiracy hot-spot), where I saw the Mona Lisa (the size of a post stamp indeed)
– The Rialto Bridge
– The Duomo
– Michaelangelo’s David
– The Pontevecchio
– The Forums
– The Colosseum
– The Vatican (yes, I know, technically its own country, but I saw it when I went to Rome)
– Lake Como
– The Chunnel Tunnel
– Went to three days of The Lords (yes, you read it right, the home of cricket: Lords) Test in the ’02/’03 Ashes Tour
– Trafalgar Square
– The Changing of the Guard
– Big Ben
– Westminster Abbey
– Houses of Parliament
– Birmingham Palace
– Loch Ness
– For all these flights, gallivanting around the world, I have flown more Business Class flights than ‘Cattle Class’/Economy Class. Now, for the people ‘in the know’, there is this section called The Bubble. It’s located directly behind the cockpit. If you were ever a kid and went up to see the captain, and had to go up a flight of stairs, and you saw a bunch of elitist snobs doing their thing? Well, that would have been me. There are four, count them, four hostesses catering to twelve, count them, twelve passengers. A ratio of one-to-three: insane. It’s something like one-to-a thousand downstairs, near the cans. I’ve traveled in The Bubble quite a few times. Quite a few times: me in The Bubble. Just wanted to reinforce this.
– I have never stayed in a motel/hotel/accommodation that is less than three stars, and that three star place was a one-and-only occurrence. Everything else has been four stars.
– I have never paid for a flight … ever. It’s not because my parents took the family overseas the first few times. No, I have just tree words: frequent flier miles. My family never pays for flights, anywhere. My father’s occupation means that the points keep rolling in: enough to give away free flights to anyone who turns 21 in our family, enough to give his son and grandfather free flights to Europe and back, enough to be able to take a major overseas holiday every five years. I enjoy saying free flights.
– I’m going on another holiday. Another holiday. I’m leaving this island for a third time, and then, in all likelihood, leaving it again in ’08. Why? Because I can and because traveling is the greatest thing you can possibly spend your money on. Anyone who neglects to travel is a failure.
Do note, anyone who has bothered reading this, that I haven’t even mentioned the point that saw me being called a show-off. What that point was, is that I have a running bet with my father that I can eat more gelatos than he. He was there for a month and at 46 different flavours. I have a little over a week to beat that. I was merely discussing this wager with my friend when I was accused of being a show-off.
It looks as though I don’t even have to try to be classified as something undesirable anymore. Fantastic! My mission is nearly complete. Only when I don’t need to say anything in order for me to get branded will I be fully satisfied with myself. It will save a hell of a lot of breathing, effort and time, won’t it? And I won’t have to bother writing blogs about important issues (that’s not to say I already am), because my opinion on things will already be known.