Next time America decides to invade and take-over …

Next time America decides to invade and take-over another country, they should forget about Iran or Syria and head straight for Britain. There’s got to be more terrorists there than the whole of the Middle East! This is, what?, the sixth terror plot to be “foiled” by the Bobbies in the past few years? And how many terror attacks did Saddam have in the works? Wait, that’s right, none!

Wait, I think I’m onto something here. I mean, it’s a hotbed for terrorists this Britain, it’s been an aggressive international power for many, many years, had an “evil” empire for a while (it still does some would argue), has been responsible for genocide in the past, has been an ally and an enemy of the United States. If you didn’t know better, you’d think I’d be talking about Iraq, wouldn’t you?

Ok, so after thinking it over, I will submit the following proposal to the United States Embassy as soon as all the fine details are done. But, while in its rough and shell-stage, I’m prepared to let everyone have a little look at the next chapter in the War on Terror.

The War on Terror – Stage Three – Tea Party 2.0

– Using up-to-date satellite imaging, secure mappings of latest topography, landmarks and infrastructure of Britain. Done;
– Co-ordinate with the Chief-of-Staffs to formalize the most effective and least cost-of-life attack plans. Done;
– Secure allies in the attack. Suggestions include: Scotland (history of conflict, recent instability), Ireland (history of conflict, recent hotbed of activity), France (extensive history of conflict, recent international troubles), America (history of conflict), Australia (recent hotbed of activity), Germany (Archnemesis);
– Formulate specific and effective fall-out plan. Done;
– Ensure all sources, intelligence and information is accurate and up-to-date, i.e. use reputable sources like this, this, and this;
– Have a high-profile, political figure deliver any presentations so as to persuade all administrations that this is legit. Subsequently, this will be one of the many fall-guys with little blame;
– Kick ass! OOOO-RAAAH!!!

Thomas.

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3 thoughts on “Next time America decides to invade and take-over …

  1. It certainly isn’t beyond reality that as England’s cricket team performs more to their reality (that is, worse and worse), I think for the sake of Australian pride (both national and sporting) and … well, just pride, no team should go any easier on that bunch of slackers.

    In fact, the risk of having a terror attack at home should be motivation enough for English Cricket, OBE, to pick up their performance. And yet, they still fail. Therefore, these players are completely unpatriotic and terrorists themselves because they are aiding and abetting the original terror attacks because of their bad cricket.

    Send them home immediately before we are invaded for harbouring terrorists!

    Thomas.

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