Mark Vaile said what?

The A.L.P. is not a bunch of burglars. They might be many things (including the party that should be in government) but they are not burglars. I’m a burglar. I steal money when I play Monopoly. Lots of money. I can’t say I’ve played Monopoly with any member of the A.L.P., but I imagine that they don’t steal money when you’re not looking. Of course, I don’t always steal money when people are not looking – sometimes I steal it when people are. It makes it even more amusing.

And for Mark Vaile to go on and say that the A.L.P. is after the Coalition’s “family jewels” is a bit strange. I think the last thing the A.L.P. want to get their hands on is the rod and tackle of a bunch of old or really old politicians. Ok, I know what he really meant, but someone should really keep these country yokels up-to-date with city slang.

And, finally, cricket analogies are always fraught with disaster. One reason for this is because Australia has the world’s best cricket team, so it doesn’t matter if you bring “your rookie fieldsman up from deep fine leg and put him in first slip” when “You have just bought on your fastest bowler and he has taken a new ball”. Why? Because all Australian cricketers (excluding Stuart MacGill) are great catchers. You wouldn’t find MacGill down at fine leg anyway, so you don’t have to worry about him. Anyway, I’ve seen Gilchrist take many a catch that should have been first slip’s, so another reason not to worry.

How is it that the Democrats are about to go extinct, but the National Party is still going strong? I know the answer, it’s just a rhetorical question …



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